note to self. NEVER EVER TAKE DRUGS EVER AGAIN!
ok.
about maybe 2 minutes ago. I took like a monster hit of salvia divinorium. like shit. The hit started effecting me before i stopped inhaling, and I just kept sucking smoke untill i actually choked. I tried to take another cause the one last thought in my little head was "you have to smoke all this" so I spose i did smoke some more.
After that it all went wrong. It all went fucking wrong. Please let me explain im still high. I think im coming down and im now in control but I have to put down what just happened before i forget.
Thousands of tiny little men were tugging on me in every direction, they were calling me and swinging me and I fucking HAD to go where they swung me, I got very confused turned off the bath with fucking extreme difficulty as the tap seemed to be yelling at me, I tried to start running the cold water. But then I managed a last single sane thought for what i guess was about 10 minutes. YOUR FUCKING HIGH JASON!!!! STOP RUNNING THE BATH YOULL DROWN!
turns out my mom was yelling from the other room telling me to turn off the bath.
Then something incredible happened. I started to fade out of exsistence, the feeling wasn't tangible at all, but the only way I can really describe it was fading from exsistence, it was like everything that mattered in life was going away, all human and rational thought was just fading... This would under almost any circum stances been perfectly fine. Just before I took the stuff though I had been having the best night I've had in ages, just... everything was going right in my life as far as I was concerened, and everything was really really good. This made the unearthly feeling of every bond my mind had with being human instantly breaking a terrifying and sickening one, I kept trying to concentrate just to get back a single memory as I flew back and forth around the room in fucking abject terror my heart bleeding with fear and reality around me fading away. Everything was soon gone, and I dont know if my eyes were closed or what I was doing but I was flying from pair of tiny arms to pair of tiny arms, desperately trying to work out what had happened to my body and stuff. The voices were yelling and talking at the same time all of the voices trying desperately to explain what was going on, but the colours were too solid and bright there was no way I was in a world or place I could think in or understand, my poor little scared mind must have been shitting itself. There was just the red, blue (from which I gatherd I was surrounded by water) and then the yellow (which i guessed to be a beach) and then the little arms that seemed to some how have me on a rail.. oh god it is impossible to explain this memory.
I was not for those few moments a person but I tiny little wift of thought being tossed around. It was fucking disgusting.
Soon I began to choke again and I think i threw up.
For a few crucial minutes I had an idea of where i was and that i was infront of a toilet I started to beat the toilet untill it finally flushed it away and I nearly went down with it, terrified, paranoid and in a state of shock I desperately tried to escape the room. I could not get the handle to work or the lock, I spent what felt like litteraly half an hour fucking with it. I escaped but then looking back my vision seemed to return for a second. I saw my pipe, my drugs kit, my everything incriminating, I flew back in grabbed it at this point things were still going very badly the pipe was just a bunch of abstract colours and I infact saw the idea of the pipe and not an actual pipe...
I grabbed it all up (turns out I missed the last of it which I had to go back for later)
and threw the bong pipe hybrid into my draw with everything and slammed it... I spent another 5 minutes working out how the bed worked... eventually I got in.
I called people. but no one answered.
eventually I got through to kate(~
slyfoxy).. what an angel she saved me.
[i would like to actually thank you dear and I am very very sorry for freaking you out with my messages on msn and im sorry for freaking you out but at the time of sending them I was convinced I would die if I didnt get some kind of help.]
jesus...
i take it back.
that was magical. But NEVER again will i try something im not SURE of the results when im not with a friend I trust in a place I can rely on.
But really. Never ever take salvia alone kids
This was my third time with the stuff the first time was rubbish, almost nothing happend, second time 100x increase fucked up head trip but just like a nightmare where you KINDA know your dreaming.
This time, I went into my mind and I really dont want to go back alone.
There is another world inside the human mind.
Salvia was/is taken by mazatec Indian priests to go on spiritual journeys into the soul. I still dont know what just happend to me but I know im very very lucky it ended as well as it did.
fuck me. just fuck.
If I ever go insane somebody kill me. Being trapped inside a mind falling to peaces is terrible, because you can never get your feet, because your mind is unable to understand its own dessication.
Clubs
Real Life Friends
stamp
New Features
Im a good artist 
Shitty
)
it hurt like getting branded. Anyway I took a shirtless ID cause i am rather proud of it.
